I’m out of sync.  I’m muddled up. My head is screwed on.  I know you’ll never leave her and I would never ask you to.  I know what we are.  I know our limitations.  I’ve never been under any impression that you would want any more than this with me. But my heart is beating […]

Where to start, Its been a month since we last spoke, when I say spoke it was more a tirade of abusive messages aimed at me. I won’t lie, I never have lied, though I’ve been accused many times by this person, yet anyone who had seen our relationship go on and off and on […]

Do not expect respect None will be given Do not expect gratitude For they are ungrateful Do not expect obedience They will do as they please Do not expect friendship Only how they can use you Do not expect to matter For you do not

Often, I think I can get by without love. I don’t really know what it’s like, so I don’t really know what I’m missing. I keep hearing about it, and it sounds wonderful. But really, to me, it’s the stuff of myth.  And anyway, I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I tripped […]

She never touches me. Beneath this stoic exterior beats a passionate heart and an inferno of unexpressed and unquenched desire. A painful knot of self doubt. A very masculine lack of confidence, whittled away down the years. A glimpse of a pretty girl and my imagination takes hold, flared nostrils, a quickening of breath, a […]

My whole life is a lie. Every part of my life is filled with deception. Not one aspect of it is untouched. In my vanilla life, no one knows that I am kinky or bi-sexual. It is my secret. My dirty little lie that would have me kicked out of my church, disowned by my […]

It wasn’t supposed to happen but it’s too late now. He’d never leave her and I’d never ask him to. But now I love him and I don’t ever want to have to let him go. I live for the rare moments when we wax lyrical about what it might be like if we were […]

I am not ambitious in my work, even though I am very good at what I do. I have wondered, often, why this is. I am usually very driven, very goal oriented. Ambitious. But the past few years, not nearly so much. As I pull this thought out of my head and put it on […]

A man assaulted me, once. It happened at a house party.  I was very drunk. I was laying on the floor on top of a sleeping bag with a blanket around me.  I had removed my dress and was wearing only my bra. I was wrapped pretty securely in that blanket, laying on my front, […]