I try not. I thought for sure, by now, that I wouldn’t. I don’t mean too, but every few days it just jumps up and takes a huge bite out of my soul, usually out of nowhere and quite unexpectedly. And, that sucks.
Never do I have a moment of missing you when I do not wonder if the same thing happens to you? Do you think of me? Do you wonder how I’m doing? Do you catch yourself wanting to watch me online somewhere only to feel a momentary disappointment that there are no places left to find me?
In the months since we’ve stopped talking, I’ve felt a little spark with one or two Dom types, but it always fizzles out. They are never strong enough. Never strict enough. Never steady enough and certainly, never capable of standing against me. It’s so disappointing. It’s funny the things that I miss are the things that made me SO crazy when I was yours, but they are now the things I find myself craving.
I wish it could have been different. I wish it still could be. I often think about reaching out to you but I’m terrified that my reaching hands would come back with nothing more than wisps of what once was or worse, slapped and rejected.
There were so many things I didn’t understand that are so much more clear now. Things I crave. Things I need. Things that I just can’t find in anyone else. Things I may never be able to experience again. Surely you are not the only Dominant skilled at actually dominating and controlling His submissive. But then, maybe you are…
It was true the day you released me and it remains true almost two years later… If you were to call me to you today, I would fall at your feet without a moment’s hesitation.
* note to molly. I tried to submit something very similar to this a few days ago, but haven’t seen it published. since I did it on my phone, there is a chance that it didn’t actually go through. If, by some chance it did, I would rather have the first one published, please.
*note to author from Molly: Sadly this is the only one that has shown up in my pending folder, so it looks like your first version was lost to the internet glitch monster 🙁