It has been a terribly long few months, but soon I will be in front of him again. I will see his eyes and watch that smile I love so much cross his face when he sees me. I will feel his arms around me and hear his voice, his laugh again. I shouldn’t be so nervous. He is one of my best friends. I love him. But there will be a difference this time and that is what has my belly full of butterflies.
While we were apart we verbalized our feelings towards each other. I told him I could easily see myself at his feet and he said that he had pictured me there many many times. It surprised both of us that the other felt this attraction so strongly. He is one of my best friends but this acknowledgement of our desires changed our dynamic. I don’t see how we can ever just be friends again when we both know… we both want… more.
I am so anxious and nervous about seeing him again. I’ve written stories for him of the submission he inspires in me and I wonder how those little glimpses into my desires will affect his behavior with me. Will he find subtle little ways to exploit that submissive desire of mine? Or, will he allow it to simmer there under the surface while we play cards and eat dinner and spend two days together with our spouses and families. It should be an interesting couple of days for sure.