Tearing me apart
I love my wife. I love her more than anyone else in the world, even… but the type of love is changing.
I hate that… I feel like the worst person on the planet because of it, but it’s true… It’s been shifting over the past year from being my soul mate and primary romantic interest to best friend and sister.
This is so fucked up. Why can’t I just make these thoughts stop?
I couldn’t tell her… I won’t tell her. I’m the only person who has ever truly loved her… She’s spent her entire life rejected and broken, and I took ahold of her life, structured it, cared for it… saved it, even… I can see a world where she’d be dead without me in it…
What would it do to her if I told her that… I’m falling out of a certain type of love for her…?
It would kill her.
Please, please… God, help me… I love her more than anyone else in the world, but I want the chance to experiment and make mistakes… all I’ve ever known is her, and I’m too afraid to hurt her…