@mollysdailykiss.com

It’s strange.

I don’t know how to talk to you anymore. Fuck, I know. We’ve been two peas in a pod for so long and now I just can’t be.

You don’t realize it, do you?

We’ve grown apart. I’ve changed and you don’t even see it.

Where were you when I needed you the most? All up in your little universe, like you’ve always been, I guess. You say you never quit loving me and you still have the gumption to call me your Wife.

I am not your Wife.

I am not the Siskel to your Ebert.

I am my own person, and I am going out and I am doing things on my own now. And I bloody well like it. I like fighting for my dream and I like not giving up. I like writing until my skin feels raw from exposing myself on paper. I have literally no money, but that hasn’t stopped me from actually doing what I wanted in life.

Quite frankly, I divorced you long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother. And I was right to do so. Where were you when I was ill? Or when I needed the support? I am but a phone call or email away and yet you never came. I never got what I wanted from you. I never got any affection. You talk about me being a bitch to you, well, bloody hell, you were equally bad.

Don’t pretend like you’re proud of me. It doesn’t become you.

Consider this my official divorce.

Goodbye.

So I’m finding myself back here again writing. I’ve written about my Ex a lot recently. I mentioned Him in a previous post about if I should forgive or not when he went away the first time. But He did it again.. this time He became emotionally abusive towards me and the fact I was ill. The stress alone of being ill was killing me, the last thing I needed was Him. So we split. 2 days before our second full year of meeting & my birthday and 2 months before our second year anniversary.

It was a while before I thought I could move on as a woman. The thing I am grateful for is that He never got my virginity. Yes that’s right.. but I’m anything but innocent! Anyway I began to move away and just carry on with losing weight and concentrating on getting answers on my health issues. Then the whole 50 shades fiasco, yes I said it fiasco! hit up and one of the men I know on my fitness profile kept randomly teasing me about reading the book and how I was unaffected by it. He had been in a previous relationship with a mutual friend so I just took it as flirting.

Well .. me being me… I kinda went OTT one afternoon and the flirting got a little heated.. I took the step to be brave and bold and really show him how my switchy nature works.. little did he know I was a Switch. I kept this secret it’s not something I fully am. It’s just my nature, I’m naturally dominant and naturally submissive in every day life. Anyway again going off the subject to ramble! We flirted heavier this time.. I spoke in great detail on how I’d whip him and spank him.. it was mighty fine to have some fun again

But that’s all I thought it was.. some hot sexy fun over the internet.. nothing more nothing less.. no virginity lost.. no hearts broken just two people enjoying each other.. yet something changed.. we grew closer swapped emails and began to chat for hours and hours in Yahoo. We spoke about our lives, our future, our past, our present, you name it we talked about it. He is older than me with two boys one teenager and one 6 year old. His 17 years my senior but his age really doesn’t throw me off. I grew up around a lot of older friends and still have a lot of older friends. I have an amazing relationship with two dear dear friends.. they know who they are.. one who is still quite new to my frienship circle but she loves me anyway!

The more we talk the more I realise I’ve fallen for him.. and he for me. He was the first to tell me how he felt.. he calls me his goddess, his queen, his lover and his friend. He doesn’t just want sex, he wants companionship, the thing is he lives miles away but we make it work.

We sat discussing 50 shades again the other night.. he had posted a very sexy picture of a woman in fishnet stockings with her hands tied behind her back and blindfolded. Little did he know that I knew all about how to tie my hands behind my back with my belt.. but I plucked up the courage and told him…. and I told him of my switchy nature. He wasn’t shocked if anything he embraced it. He didn’t see a girl who hadn’t had any real sexual experience or even had sex to know what she does and doesn’t like. So to him my J, the man who changed my life even if he is an 8 hour timezone away…..

….Smitten Kitty whose found a reason to be happy again

8th September 2012

My husband does not get it ~ I have tried in many ways… leaving out books and articles, leaving webpages up ~ even asking. I want to be dominated, I enjoy pain intermingled with my pleasure ~ I live to please and serve …. He does not get it, what I am, what I desire, what I need…… but someone else does.

I have known N my whole life I feel ~ since jr high. He was one of my first crushes, it was not reciprocated at the time, so we became friends… on and off again more than that, but at the bottom of it all ~ friends always. He knows who I was as a child and watched me grow into a woman. N knows everything ‘bad’ I ever did and every boy/man I ever ‘did’ ~ knows all that and still loves me for who I am.
We have stayed friends through the years, not close but always in some sort of contact. In the last year or so becoming closer than in the past. Texting or emailing innocuous messages about our daily lives. I started going to him for advice on how to deal with my husband, and he truly gave good advice…. from a man’s point of view. I freely gave my advice from a woman’s point of view as well.

I am not even sure how/when we crossed the line, it happened this spring without my even realizing it. All of the sudden our texts took on a different tone, feeling, mood. We ended up reading 50 Shades together and discussing it, as our respective partners would not join in. He recognized himself in me and brought to the surface a piece of myself I have always hidden~ afraid and a bit ashamed to admit that piece was there.

He is my Dom, I am happily his sub……. what we find in each other we do not get in the other relationship in our daily lives. I am not looking to implode my life or his…….. I know I am making dangerous decisions and heading out into dark uncharted territory…… but he is my new addiction, I don’t want to stop what I have started and honestly if it brings us both happiness and we are not hurting the others in our lives, is it wrong?

Thank you for having this page for me to anonymously admit my darkest secrets and fears.

I am embarking on an affair and I am a sub……… I am a sub.. just typing it is freeing, I like to be dominated, told what to do ~ but only by 1 person, only a certain person… I have come to see clearly that I can no longer deny this side of my being ~ I have only been 1/2 of who I really am….. thanks to you again for your freeing site, sites really as I am reading all of your blogs and finding a kindred spirit is healing and helpful!

She could hear her breathing in her ears and the pulse from her heart thudded reassuringly. She exhaled.

Catherine had everything. She was pretty, smart, witty, friendly, with a high powered job; she had it all. In fact she was very happy with her life, particularly right now, at this moment. She felt all the tension peel away from her shoulders. She rocked her head from side to side to ease her neck, and put her chin to her chest. All the knots in her stomach unwound magically. There was a calmness that was beginning to radiate out from her. Bliss.

There was a soft noise. She couldn’t make out what it was but she turned her head sharply to the right. A shadow of a smile cast itself onto her face, she was wondering what she looked like. Always well turned out for work, never showy, but smart and feminine, it made her wonder what she must look like to someone walking into the room now. Another noise. This time she couldn’t suppress a chuckle.  She did look odd. There was no point in opening her eyes –  they were blindfolded – but it was the ear defenders that seemed ridiculous to her.

She could neither see nor hear. Her arms were bound behind her back from wrist to her upper arms in the Japanese Shibari style. Her legs spread wide and held in place with a spreader bar. Not very dignified but secure. She moved her shoulders in an attempt to escape from her bonds. It was entirely useless.  Sir was an excellent rigger. He had the ability to tension the ropes just right so that she couldn’t escape (a trick that she delighted in attempting) but so that it didn’t cut off her circulation.  The bonds just hugged her and held her tight, soft against her naked skin. It was like being enshrined by some snake, but instead of fear she was able to find release and let her mind go.

That’s what people didn’t ‘get’. They saw her as strong and powerful and capable. They didn’t see her need to put all of that down, to let it go, to give the control away. Sir knew. He understood. He had worked her out from the moment they met. He could see that she needed nurturing, loving but that she was unable to willingly let someone else take over, it had to be taken…she had to be taken.

So there she stood, in the middle of the room, naked, feet and lips splayed by the spreader bar, arms bound by rope, blindfolded, and hearing dulled.

“Glorious”, he thought, “so beautiful.”

She liked the anticipation of what was going to happen next. Would she be flogged? She would almost definitely be fingered, but she didn’t know how or when. And then there was a tickle to her outer thigh, it make her jump. An involuntary noise escaped from her throat. Something soft brushed against her tummy which made her inhale and tense herself, fingers clenching, unable to do anything; she breathed out. His hand forced itself roughly between her legs, dipping his middle finger into her cunt and rubbing her G-spot. The tension inside her grew. He flicked her clit and her knees sagged. He caught her deftly by the throat and hauled her back up. They both knew that she liked to be taken and used: overpowered. Soft love and romance were not Catherine’s style.

Locking her knees again he tickled her neck, making her squirm and all the fine hairs stand up on her arms. Then there was a pause. Unable to hear, she was uncertain what was coming next. There was what should have been a gentle hand placed upon her upper arm, between the bonds. Her heart froze and fear gripped her, cold and harsh, it stalled her heart. A vampire glove. A lovely soft kidskin glove with a bed of metal spikes in the palm and extending along each finger. He never hurt her but he also knew that the thought of them petrified her. She had seen images of them used on others. Some people liked to be spanked with them until the blood flowed. That was not her kink, but she was not in a position to choose. Fear and anticipation mingled inside her.

Another tickle of a feather along her bottom. She breathed once more. A brush of a tickle across her breasts and she was relaxed and smiling again. But in the back of her mind she was still tense, waiting for the vampire glove to come again. He scratched it lightly down her left hip to her calf. Unable to move away because of the bar she squealed and panted. He ran the feather up her right thigh. She breathed faster and tried to move forward but he caught her by the ropes and raised her arms up behind her back forcing her to bend forward.

He wiped the vampire glove over her bottom and slid it up her lower back now that it was free of her arms. Catherine moaned, as much in fear as with delight. Panting hard now and sweating he fingered her roughly again. Despite all protestations that she hated the gloves, her body said otherwise; she was wet and slick and excited. They both knew what was coming. They knew that an orgasm was not the goal.

Thwack! His bare ungloved hand slapped down on her rump and again and again, causing her to wiggle and dance. She felt the heat from the sting but it was enhanced by something that she could not work out, his body heat, he must be so very close. Then he kissed her, gently and delicately on her rear.

That was the breaking point in her mind. She didn’t know what was coming next: tickling, vampire gloves, spanking or tender kisses. Her breathing laboured. She could feel herself floating, falling away. Her body was going limp but he caught her. Lying her gently on the floor, he took off the ear defenders and undid the spreader bar from her ankles. He lay there, holding her, gently untying her, leaving the blindfold in place until last.

“Shhhhhhh” he murmured. “what a good girl you have been for me. And how beautifully you have flown into subspace.”  He stroked her hair, and kissed her tenderly, marvelling at how such a beautiful, powerful, strong woman loved and trusted him so much.

Rachel

Daydreamer

To read Part I click HERE and for Part II click HERE

***

The shock was sudden. As if I was watching a ghost, or a Ferrari driving in. Here she was in her glorious passion-red dress, and Louisa was right behind her. I think I stopped with both hands on my open jacket. I think my mouth was open.

‘Oh, dear, we’ve scared him.’ said Louisa flatly, as she closed the door.

Janice laughed.

‘Janice knows that she’s not supposed to be here’, Louisa said.

‘And Janice could do with a drink’ said Janice, eyeing my rum.

So, this was the reason I was dismissed, earlier. My mood brightened immediately.

I hardly knew where to start the conversation, pouring the last of the rum into two clean glasses, but I stumbled through something like ‘So, what’s going on, girls’?

Janice had made herself comfortable on the couch, and Louisa was sitting primly on the edge of the bed.

‘We were talking cabin size, and I said how huge yours was’, said Louisa. ‘Janice wanted to see it.’

‘The cabin’ Janice jumped in. We all laughed. I looked sheepish. How the fuck was this going to work itself out? I tried to loosen the conversational knot.

‘So, what have you two been discussing’? I asked.

‘Similar likes and dislikes’, offered Louisa, and those beautiful eyes flashed as if they were the recipients of a couple of thousand volts of electricity. Then she stood, took a drink, walked around the coffee table, sat on the couch, and planted a kiss on Janice’s mouth. As she pulled away, Janice’s eyes widened in surprise. Louisa put her drink on the table. She stared at Janice, almost daring her to say something.

My heart rate shot up. If this passenger had any kind of problem with this, now was the time when the whole situation would deteriorate quickly.

‘You surprised me’. Said Janice, but not smiling. I could see the green of her eyes as she looked from Louisa to me, weighing up her next move. I glanced at the door, then immediately regretted it, in case it would be taken as the wrong signal – one of imprisonment. We were on a knife edge, here. Louisa made a theatrical gesture of putting her hand on Janice’s knee. I could hear my heart banging through my rib-cage, trying to escape. My dick was, suddenly, a flag pole.

‘Stop crowding me!’ Janice looked as if she was suddenly aware that things had taken a left hand turn, and she was trying to catch up. She looked at me, and panic started to rise in my throat.

‘Can’t you control this woman?’

‘Louisa, stop it.’ I said, but it didn’t come out like a warning.

There was a brief second of a heavy, suffocating silence. I caught another whiff of Janice’s perfume that I had smelled earlier. It mingled with Louisa’s into a heady,potent mix. I thought she looked trapped. Was she scared?

‘You are no fun’. Louisa taunted, and got up to return to the bed. Then everything changed.

Janice’s best teacher’s voice came out. Not an order, more like the brief word of warning that things could get sticky if certain practices either were or weren’t followed in the future.

‘I said, control her, John’.

As Louisa walked past me, I got up, and took her by the wrist pulling her toward me. My heart was doing a salsa and, through her wrist, I could feel that hers was too.

‘What now?’ I asked, conversationally.

‘I don’t like being crowded in’ said Janice ‘how would she like it?’ Her eyes were wide, because of her glasses. She was clearly looking as if she was about to start enjoying something – like lights down in the cinema when a much anticipated movie was about to start.

I had to share this with people… It was just too good to be true…

One of my best guy friends was talking to me last night while I was lying in bed.. I’ve been unwell and haven’t had much contact with said friend as his girlfriend is the jealous type and she keeps crooning on and on about wanting Christian Grey & it was beginning to really piss us both off.. especially him because He and I know that he is a lot darker than Mr Grey.. but he will only go into that with a willing partner.. anyway.. onto the rest of this story…

This morning she comes running to me – by running I mean hitting up my phone unti I answer it… so I pick up and she’s all like in tears and going

“Oh my God Kitty* J went all Chrsitian Grey on my ass last night…” I sigh, laugh a throaty ill laugh that I can just about manage because it hurts and replied with “Girl.. you kept sayin’ how you wanted a Christian Grey.. so you finally got one.. I told you and told you you couldn’t handle that shit.. you have no idea” her reply: “But but.. he was just so… so…” me: *rolls eyes* “don’t ask for something you can’t handle.” She has now decided to not bother reading any more 50 shades and has shut up about wantin a Christian Grey… & my best guy friend for life loved that I wasn’t one bit shocked or offended by his actions on his gf.. lol.. If only they really knew!

oh well he is my own 50 shades.. 50 shades of colour that is

*netnameused

I have a nipple. It’s new. I got it on Thursday.

I know that some of you will work out who I am but I really don’t care. This needs to come out and I am not sure where it would go so; I am inflicting my musings on you here.

I have not really thought about my nipples a lot and, even though delighted at the thought of reconstruction, it never really entered my pretty little head how much of an impact this would have on me. I have seen the surgeons rob me of my breast because they needed to save my life. Watching the slow, often painful, sometimes humiliating reshaping of my new breast, moulding it out of my own flesh, has been interesting. Mostly due to the shift in my psyche, my attitude and, most importantly, my confidence has been interesting and delightful. I have re-emerged a ‘whole’ woman.

I thought that nipple reconstruction (they will tattoo the areola on in 6 months time) would just be the cherry on top…quite literally. I did not expect such an overwhelming reaction to it. As I look down and see both nipples (actually I see one and a WHOLE lot of protective padding around the other), the landscape has changed, my landscape has changed. I am overwhelmed with feelings, I am awash with joy, and amazement, and curiosity, and worry, and fear, and a sense of completion. This is really something for just a little flap of skin that has been cut and folded round to form a lump.

There are a whole mass of ‘experts’ out there telling us how to ‘get in touch’ with our bodies, to connect with them in some way. I guess I am connecting to my new nipple. Getting to know this new addition to my body. I like this new thing, this new addition, this cherry on the top of my cake.

I found this on another site, so I am sharing it with all out there.

I can’t put them anywhere associated with myself b/c they will raise too many questions and leave me frustrated. But here others can enjoy them without that. I went through the list for fun and marked how I felt about each one. Maybe one day, there will be someone to read through them, making mental notes to better prepare Him to know me.

One of the main factors, in feeling truly OWNED is to be constantly reminded throughout the day of a Master’s control. These reminders can be subtle or really obtrusive. The more often a slave is reminded of her submission, the deeper it becomes — and the more fulfilling. So here are some ideas you might want to try, and no matter what rules you decide to make your own, please be consistent. If you are unwilling to take the time to enforce the rules you make, then there may as well be no rules at all. There is nothing in the world that will make a slave feel less loved than to have a Master who ignores her transgressions and does not exert their dominance.

(love) 1. Have her wear slave bells. The constant soft jingling of the bells is soothing and a certain reminder of her submission.

(mixed feelings) 2. When she has broken a rule, talk to her as you punish and make her speak in detail about why what she did was wrong.

(love) 3. Make her take her shoes off every day as soon as she enters your house.

(love) 4. A beautiful, special collar will make any slave joyous. Take the time to select the right one, and have her wear it as often as possible.

(love) 5. Have her call you each day at a specified time, no excuses.

(love) 6. Give her anklets and tell her she must wear one of them every day, no excuses.

(mixed feelings) 7. Whenever possible, have her kneel before you and ask to accompany you upon the furniture.

(not so much) 8. Choose her hairstyle and go with her to get it cut to your specifications.

(curious) 9. Whenever possible, have her display herself whenever you come into the room — legs spread, shirt unbuttoned. No matter what position you take, she is to be sure your view is unobstructed

(love) 10. When around the kids or vanilla friends/family, make sure she has an alternative title for you besides Master, such as “my love” etc.

(curious) 11. Use her sexually in a rough, selfish way when you feel like it, interrupting whatever she was doing.

(mixed feelings) 12. Choose a food that she dislikes and have her eat a small portion every day for a week.

(mixed feelings) 13. Have her crawl to bed each night.

(indifferent) 14. Bring her a stuffed animal each time you go out of town.

(mixed feelings) 15. Choose her clothing each day.

(mixed feelings) 16. Have her get your daily wardrobe ready for you the night before.

(love) 17. After punishment, have her kiss your boots and thank you for loving her enough to correct her.

(love) 18. Have her bring a warm towel and wash and massage Your feet each day after work.

(love) 19. Get her tattooed (Your choice of art and location).

(curious) 20. Get her pierced (or preferably if You are trained, do it Yourself).

(not so much) 21. Get her branded.

(love) 22. Respect, but push her limits.

(mixed feelings) 23. Ask her each night what she did that day that You would not have approved of. This gets her in the habit of being completely honest, and also makes her conscious of the things she could do better each day.

(love) 24. Teach her exactly how You want her to kneel, and demand perfection.

(love) 25. Reward her by allowing her to please You sexually.

(not so much) 26. Supervise her workout routine.

(mixed feelings) 27. Each night she is to kneel next to the bed asking permission to sleep with her Master, and each night she does, she is to kneel by the bed in the morning and thank her Master for the privilege.

(love) 28. Have her polish Your boots weekly, on her knees at Your feet.

(mixed feelings) 29. Negotiate until you are both comfortable with the terms and then sign a contract.

(love) 30. Give her a writing assignment: “The definition of Pain – 1000 words”

(love) 31. Have her keep a diary of her journey into submission.

(mixed feelings) 32. Instruct her that she may never get herself something to eat or drink in Your presence without first asking You if You want something.

(curious) 33. Some evenings, keep her on a leash and take her with You no matter what You do….even if You do not speak to her or include her in Your activities.

(curious) 34. When appropriate, she is to speak when spoken to.

(love) 35. Reward her by giving her delicious pleasure.

(love) 36. On occasion, share her.

(love) 37. When it suits You, instruct her not to make eye contact with You without Your command.

(mixed feelings) 38. Have her keep her body clean shaven at all times.

(mixed feelings) 39. Conduct random inspections of her body to make sure she keeps herself to Your specifications.

(love) 40. Make her wear a butt-plug under her clothes whenever she goes out alone.

(love) 41. For transgressions: have her write Your name on the bottom of her foot and tell her to remember she is walking on You with each step. (This is harder to do that You might think.)

(super love) 42. Master the art of the meaningful piercing stare.

(love) 43. Give her reading assignments.

(super love) 44. Test her on the reading assignments, to make sure she learned the appropriate lessons from each.

(love) 45. Instruct her to keep her toenails painted perfectly everyday, and check to see that they are before bed

(curious) 46. Make it her responsibility to put the toys away after play and punishment, and to keep them clean and neat.

(love) 47. Reward her by letting her name her favorite scene, toys, etc.

(love) 48. Call her your slut, your pet, etc.

(mixed feelings) 49. Have her make a list of the 10 things that make her the most self-conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed.

(mixed feelings) 50. Work with her, having her do the things on the list, so that she conquers those fears and hesitations.

(super love) 51. Sometimes, pamper her — wash her body and hair, having her remain perfectly still as you turn her and move her about.

(love) 52. Hand feed her like a small child on occasion.

(not so much) 53. Have her eat from a dog bowl on occasion.

(love) 54. For transgressions: make her wear a sign to the next public function naming her crime.

(love) 55. Praise her dedication when she has pleased you well.

(oh hell… love) 56. Instruct her that she is never to touch your body without permission.

(curious) 57. Have her write a meditation about her submission, devotion and trust in you, to be said aloud each night before falling asleep.

(curious) 58. Some days allow her no clothing whatsoever.

(love… in a sick twisted way) 59. For transgressions: deny her play.

(love… in a sick twisted way) 60. In the same ilk, For transgressions: deny her orgasm. Give her sex, but she can’t cum.

(love… i think) 61. For transgressions: Command that she is to be silent for a week.She may not speak, and will take whatever pain or pleasure you give as silently as possible.

(love secretly) 62. Treat her like a pet in front of friends, making her present herself, turn herself, etc.

(love) 63. Give her a writing assignment: “The definition of Obedience – 1000 words”

(curious) 64. Have her wear nipple clamps all day.

(love) 65. Tell her one morning that she must cum for you 15 times that day, and then write about the day.

(love) 66. Have her wear a butt plug under her clothing out to dinner.

(super love) 67. On your birthday, let her receive your spankings.

(love) 68. Spend time training her how to move to please You.

(mixed feelings) 69. For transgressions: stand her in the corner like a 3 year old.

(mixed feelings) 70. Always flog her after completion of a task, even if it was satisfactory. A well flogged slave is a happy slave.

(not so much) 71. Speak about her as if she were not present.

(ohhhh noooooo) 72. For transgressions: deny her any D/s at all for a week, letting her do just as she pleases, not allowing her to serve you in any way, no punishment, no instruction, no play, banning titles of respect, etc. This will shame her and certainly make her strive to please you when it is over and she is in her place again.

(love) 73. Defend her honor to those who would disrespect your prized possession.

(super love) 74. Pet her often.

(super love)75. Make her be webmaster for your site

(mixed feelings) 76. Whenever possible, have her sleep in a cage.

(love) 77. Buy her sexy or slutty clothes to your liking.

(love) 78. Teach her things, expand her knowledge, in a patient daddy way.

(super love) 79. When you are apart, call her and have her masturbate for you.

(love) 80. If you choose to play with others, make sure your slave knows who is first in your heart and that some things are just for her.

(super love) 81. Lead her with a loving fist in her hair.

(love) 82. Wake her each morning with an assigned task for the day and make sure it is done by day’s end.

(not so much) 83. Teach her patience.

(nope) 84. Videotape your sessions and watch them together.

(curious) 85. Have her place her regular wear shoes in a line by the front door. They should be in a straight line with the laces tucked inside. Inspect them periodically.

(yikes…. ummm i mean, love… in the sick twisted way) 86. Keep a list of her transgressions in a little book. Let her slip for a while thinking you are not noticing. Then one day, bring out the book and have a day of atonement.

(love) 87. Tickle her just because you can.

(love) 88. Have her be perfectly still and quiet while you bring her extreme pleasure. When she moves or makes a sound punish her then return to the pleasure.

(mixed feelings) 89. Keep her locked in her collar when you are home. Wear the key to the lock around your neck.

(mixed feelings) 90. When possible, have her cook and serve your dinner wearing nothing but a collar.

(love) 91. Buy her a digital camera and give her assignments to take pictures of herself for you in certain outfits or positions, etc.

(love) 92. Don’t be afraid to bring her to tears, for they are yours as well.

(not so much) 93. Take her and the dog to the park, both on leashes.

(mixed feelings) 94. Have her fall asleep between your legs, licking your cock and balls, and tell her you expect her to be there when you awake.

(love) 95. Occasionally, fulfill her fantasy.

(mixed feelings) 96. Master’s word is the last word.

(fucking SUPER love x a bazillion) 97. Be consistent.

(super love) 98. Take the time to talk to her, learn her fears, her dreams and fantasies. Use your knowledge.

(love) 99. Specify exactly how she will address you in private and in public.

(not so much) 100. If you are willing to correct her each time she forgets until it is a habit, have her refer to herself as “this slave”

You can read part 1 of this story HERE

***

Suddenly, Louisa announced that she was leaving.

‘Please excuse me, Janice, I’m dying for a smoke, I’m going to the smoking section over there, and I’ll be right back.’

I panicked at the thought of keeping Janice interested on my own, but again, Janice saved me:

‘Oh, sure’ Janice was dismissive, and then added ‘Actually, I don’t usually smoke, but I could have one as I’m drinking. Do you mind if I come, too.’

‘Ooh.’ Louisa’s eyes widened as she went over the top on the sound.’ Of course, I don’t mind if you come.’ She turned to me ‘Looks like you are looking after the drinks.’ That was an order not to interfere, and I took it as such.

‘Yes Ma’am’, I adopted a Southern States accent.

‘Good for you, Louisa’, Janice purred ‘I love a man that takes orders.’

Mr. Cock stirred inside my shorts, and didn’t subside as they both moved off arm in arm across the crowded bar. I struck up another conversation with a retired lawyer from Maryland and his wizened, overly made up wife. A woman whose eyes peered out as if looking for a youth that used to be here, but now was lost. Eye make-up designed to replicate what the two women I was just talking to had in natural abundance.

I don’t know what happened between the two of them, I could see some conversation taking place, taking turns to speak into each other’s ear under the music, smoking and almost touching there crossed knees – almost. Ocassioanlly Louisa flashed those doe-eyes in my direction, but they were definitely being ‘alone together’. I still had half-an-ear on the Maryland lawyer’s tour report of the day. It wasn’t a positive one. I was still semi-hard, and feeling somewhat uncomfortable about being excited through a passenger complaint.

Both returned at the same time, as thick as thieves and almost giggly, and we were soon back into the swing of the conversation. Abruptly, Louisa said:

‘Isn’t it about time you were off decks?’

I was thunderstruck. What a double-cross. Janice looked at me as if I had done something unforgivable; a naughty pupil to the teacher she actually was in real life.

Louisa said: ‘I’ll be there soon, leave the door open.’ This had happened before, and I wasn’t happy about being made to feel foolish again, waiting for her in vain to show up. A last second thought swam to the surface as I was about to embarrass myself by replying defensively. Perhaps she thought I had had enough to drink, that she was going to make excuses to Janice and leave, and wanted to get me out of the public eye as soon as possible. I grasped onto the possibility like a drowning man does to a piece of flotsam.

‘Yes, I guess you are right. See you tomorrow, Janice.’ I pointedly ignored Louisa so that she knew I was a little upset and stomped out of the disco, scowling.

I threw myself into the desk chair in my cabin like crumpled laundry. I didn’t take my tuxedo off, because Louisa preferred it when I was fully clothed and she was naked, and I had become accustomed to waiting up, smoking, fully dressed. I did get up to make myself a drink, and exchanged the main lights for the wall sconces, but stayed where I was for about 15 minutes before deciding to go to bed. The door was on the latch, and I was taking my jacket off when Janice walked in.