@mollysdailykiss.com

To read Part I click HERE, for Part II click HERE, and for part 3 click HERE

***

I turned Louisa around to face our guest, and put my left arm around her breasts, grabbing her right shoulder. Her arms fell to her sides. She didn’t appear to be scared, she appeared to be relaxed. Her heart was thumping. I could feel it through her body, into mine. Janice got up and walked the three paces over to us very quickly.

‘Can you hold her a different way? I want to be able to see her.’

I’ve got big hands, and Louisa’s wrists are very thin. In the past, during sex, I often felt as if they would snap. Now, I had no such concerns, pulling her hands behind her, capturing her wrists tightly by her waist, so that she was immobile.

Janice stepped back slightly, before slapping Louisa very hard across the left cheek. Louisa gasped. I thought my cock was going to push its way through my shorts and pants. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time – if ever. Janice slowly and softly kissed her on the lips.

‘Don’t crowd people, they don’t like it’, she said, softly, before reaching out and caressing Louisa’s left breast. Louisa squirmed.

I unzipped the back of her halter top, and it bowed open.

‘Take the halter off’ ordered Janice. I complied. The dress fell to the floor. Louisa, in black strapless bra, black thong (with that ridiculous pink bow),  and high heeled shoes.

Janice hiked the bottom of her dress up, and gently took Louisa’s feet one at a time, clearing the dress away, then stood back once more. Louisa’s beautiful breasts were heaving.

Janice reached around Louisa, and unhitched her bra. It fell, and her breasts escaped provocatively, nipples becoming erect. Janice rubbed and tweaked them until they were fully erect, never once taking her eyes off of our captive’s. Then she bent slightly, and began kissing them gently. I shifted position, put both wrists in one hand and slipped my left hand around her, and into her thong. She was already wet, and she opened her legs a little. I slipped my hand further down, bending over her shoulder and nibbling the patch of skin behind her ear that she loved so much. She caught her breath. Janice was soon back, kissing her on the mouth gently, before looking at me. Was this the kiss? Was I now to be rewarded? Not so lucky:

‘Get your hand out of there, it’s mine.’ The teacher was back and I complied quickly.

There was another rustle as Janice fell to her knees, and pulled the thong off, again using her hands to clear the item from her shoes, before slipping her left shoe off, and placed Louisa’s left foot on her shoulder. Then she went to work on her clit.

Louisa was bucking and thrusting within seconds, trying to flail her arms, but I held tight. I glanced down, and Janice had pulled her own dress up. With spread legs, she was obviously rubbing herself through her panty hose. The fact that I couldn’t quite see anything, only her wrist rhythmically pumping, made it even more exciting.

Louisa was beginning to buckle at the knees, and within seconds, Janice was back on her feet.

‘She’s going to squirt soon’ she said, dispassionately, like a doctor predicting the onset of a cold. She was even talking to me, but looking at her patient. Louisa’s gasps were coming quicker and quicker.

Janice picked up her chin:

‘Do you like that?’

No answer – just panting. Now Janice was more controlling, urgent in her question, more force in it.

‘Do you like that?’

‘YES!’ Louisa managed, before squirting, coming and moaning, almost all at the same time. She was a living spasm in my grip, and fell against me. I hit the desk with my butt.

‘Now’ Janice said, moving back away from her ‘Fuck her, John.’ My cock was finally released, and I immediately turned Louisa around, hands on the desk, lifted up her shoeless leg, and plunged into her. She felt as if she was turning to warm, mushy liquid, but gripped on to me from the inside. I told her I loved her, and she nodded. I slapped her ass, and she asked me to do it again. I did.

I turned around and Janice was still standing next to me, peering down at Louisa. She grabbed a handful of hair, and pulled it back harshly.

‘Are you a little slut?’  She demanded, inches from Louisa’s face.

‘Yes’ came the halting reply, and her thrusts onto me were coming faster and faster.

‘And do you want my pussy?’ More gentle this time.

Louisa tried to speak, but just nodded. Janice turned to the bed behind us, and I heard the rustle of clothes.

‘Bring her over here’ I heard. What? I hadn’t finished, but Louisa had already started to move. I pulled out.

Janice had pulled her dress up, and her pantyhose and panties were on the floor. Her thighs were bigger than I had guessed, beautifully pear-shaped, and her thin, whispy pubic hair barely covered her cunt.

‘It’s not just the cabin.’ said Janice, smiling. I realized that I was still huge, and
blushed.

Louisa was half-way to her, Janice was pulling her own breasts out of whatever held them in under her thinly-strapped dress, and they poked up, nipples up like the proverbial puppies sniffing the air from inside a basket. Louisa fell on the bed, and went straight for her pussy, fingers and tongue first. Her ass was in the air, and it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I kneeled behind her, entering her again. Still the same feeling. I looked at Janice, playing with her own nipples.

‘Do you like that, John’?

‘Yes’ I replied. ‘I like looking at you while my love eats your pussy.’

‘I’m going to come, soon’, she said ‘I want you to watch me while I do.’

It was a simple request, so I did. She spoke almost non-stop. There, not there, do this, do that with your finger, told Louisa how cute she looked. She asked me if I wanted to fuck her, and I said I did. Remarkably, I hadn’t even started to come, yet. Perhaps just enough alcohol, testosterone, energy, and erotic charge to hold me back. When Janice finally came, she closed her eyes, said ‘Yes’, reassuringly a few times, arched her back, and shouted:

‘YES, lick my pussy.’ Then moaned, and closed her wonderful eyes shut.

Louisa came for a second time shortly afterward, on one elbow, looking at me, with Janice frigging her clit, and her own fingers gently teasing Janice’s hole.

We all needed to smoke.

Janice undressed, while Louisa undressed me, slowly, and caressed my cock. There was only water left, and we guzzled it out of a five liter container. We spoke, we laughed, we are all friends. It could have been a regular drink at the local, except that we were all naked, and I was getting hard again.

Suddenly, it turned serious once more.

Janice: ‘Louisa, that cock looks great. I want to suck it’

‘Carry on.’

Janice slipped past me on to the bed, and I fed her my cock from my knees. Louisa broke out the vibrator, and stayed at the foot of the bed, playing with herself, and giving a dirty commentary of what she wanted to see, was seeing, and passing on encouragement. Janice was fingering herself once again. Then the free for all really started.

Janice came with me in her cunt holding her legs wide, with Louisa sitting on her face, kissing me and telling me how much she loved me. Louisa came again in the shower with me pinning her against the wall, and Janice sitting on the toilet, with one leg over the sink, playing with herself, and soaping my balls with her other hand. The language from all of us was pure porn movie. We all took turns to be in charge, and I have never seen my love act that way. Slapping Janice’s tits, while Janice again finger fucked her, asking

‘Who’s the fucking slut, now?’

Finally, when I could hold back no longer, Louisa tugged my dick aimed over Janice’s face. I wanted to come over those glasses, so that I could watch her eyes, watching me coming over her…and I did.

Eventually, we crashed for a while, before Janice kissed us both tenderly, dressed, and left. Just before sleep kidnapped us, I asked ‘What did you two talk about in the disco?’

‘Just stuff’ Louisa said, obviously evading the truth.

‘I can’t believe you talked her into sharing us.’

‘John, I didn’t talk her into anything, and your name never came up.’

I laughed out loud. I had given all of the credit to Louisa, when the other girl was the one that made the pass.

‘You were right about her eyes. Very sexy.’

We fell into a deep sleep, holding each other as if it meant life and death.

You know what, it doesn’t matter what you think you are doing.  If I feel bullied and harassed by your actions then as far as I am concerned you are bullying me.  If I am brave enough to get in touch with you and explain to you how I feel and you say “No I’m not” and carry on then you have to accept some responsibility for what happens next.

I am suffering from severe depression, I’m a single mum with 4 children and a not regular job that barely pays me enough to cover the bills.  Some weeks I don’t eat anything apart from the leftovers from my kids plates because there just isn’t enough money to feed us all.

Yes, I made mistakes in the past.  Massive great big huge stonking mistakes that ruined my life and the lives of others. I am so sorry for these mistakes, if I could rewind I would do it all differently and none of us would be in this position.

But I can’t rewind history. I can’t change what I have done. I can’t change the way I reacted to events and I can’t change where any of us are now.

Please leave me alone. Please understand that I am vulnerable right now. I have problems in my life that are nothing to do with any of you. I am in a bad place. There are days when I truly believe that the world would be a better place without me. That my kids would be better off without their mum. This would solve all of my problems and stop me doing any more damage.

On these days you’re there. Emails, blog posts, tweets, phone calls, text messages, letters through my door. Please go away.  Do you want me to kill myself? Is that how this ends?

I try so hard to ignore you but you are everywhere. You are more than 1 person.  You impact every part of my life. I try to tell myself that I don’t need to listen to you but it gets harder each and every day.

You are bullying me. You are a bully.  And a coward. Your constant harassment of me is nothing short of childish and pathetic.  You are grown women. With children of your own. Would you want someone to treat your child this way? God forbid any one of your children ever makes a mistake, because if this is how you treat people then they will live to regret it for the rest of their life.

You don’t actually know me.  You’ve probably never even met me. You could walk past me in the street and not know me. Please stop judging me for mistakes in my past, everyone deserves the right to live their life without fear of harassment and bullying.

If you were saying to me “we want you to do this” then that would be different.  But there is nothing I can do to make you happy.  Nothing I can do to make you go away. I’ve tried fighting back. I’ve tried ignoring you. I’ve tried putting my side of the story forward but nothing works.

I’m tired of this. I’m tired of hating myself and hating you for what you’re doing to me. I deserve the chance to live my life without fear of looking at my phone, computer, or opening my post. I have told you how I feel, I have told you that I am scared and vulnerable and feel bullied by you. Whether or not you think that what you are doing is correct or not please think about how I feel.  Please consider that you are pushing me dangerously close to somewhere that I am scared to be. I don’t want to feel like this but I want to have the power and control to make you stop. Sometimes it feels like there is only one way to do that.

I’m not there yet but I have days when I am close. I am sensible, I speak to my doctor regularly and I speak to friends and family every day about where I am and how you make me feel.

I hope I can survive this. I hope that eventually you realise that this is no way to live your life and go away. Take the energy you invest into hating me and turn it around, do something good with it.

I can’t change the past.  You are a bully. Please leave me alone. I am scared, and vulnerable and trying to hold my life together for the sake of my kids.

It has been a terribly long few months, but soon I will be in front of him again. I will see his eyes and watch that smile I love so much cross his face when he sees me. I will feel his arms around me and hear his voice, his laugh again. I shouldn’t be so nervous. He is one of my best friends. I love him. But there will be a difference this time and that is what has my belly full of butterflies.

While we were apart we verbalized our feelings towards each other. I told him I could easily see myself at his feet and he said that he had pictured me there many many times. It surprised both of us that the other felt this attraction so strongly.  He is one of my best friends but this acknowledgement of our desires changed our dynamic. I don’t see how we can ever just be friends again when we both know… we both want… more.

I am so anxious and nervous about seeing him again. I’ve written stories for him of the submission he inspires in me and I wonder how those little glimpses into my desires will affect his behavior with me. Will he find subtle little ways to exploit that submissive desire of mine? Or, will he allow it to simmer there under the surface while we play cards and eat dinner and spend two days together with our spouses and families. It should be an interesting couple of days for sure.

I know this isn’t usually the kind of post we see here, but I’m desperate. I really need some input.

I am seriously considering leaving my husband.  We love each other, we have children together but I am not happy.  He is emotionally neglectful at times and can be very selfish, although he doesn’t seem to realise that he is.  He’s like a child.

We have little in common any more.   Our goals are different. I want to live a life full of possibility and adventure; he wants to stay in the same place doing the same thing forever.  He is fully monogamous, I am more poly but live monogamously for him (although I have strayed once or twice). I feel as though I am forever compromising to make him happy and get little in return.

I’ve pleaded, begged, cajoled, done all I can to try to help him get his fires burning but nothing ever changes. I’m bored, tired, frustrated and full of resentment.

Despite all of this, I love him and he is my friend. He loves me more than I love him, I think, at this stage. He is a wonderful father and genuinely cares about us.  We’ve been together since we were teenagers. We’ve been through so much together.

I just don’t know what to do.  I think I know what is coming but my heart is breaking.  Why did it come to this?

I crave connection. Intellectual stimulation. Am I being selfish?

I love you.

I have told you this, just once. You told me, too.

We cannot be together. I understand this, I know. I get it. I agree.

But I love you.

You changed me in ways I never believed I could be changed.  You challenged me when others nodded and agreed.  You forced me to look at myself, really look at myself.  You broke down my barriers easily, showing me in every word and action that I could trust you implicitly. I never had to second guess you. I never doubted you, not even for a second.  You have changed my life in ways I’ll never tell you, because you hate all that soppy stuff, but it’s true.

You told me all the time, “I’m just a guy. I’m nothing special.”

Maybe not. You *are* just a guy.

But you are special to me, and I will never forget what we had.  I will never forget how you made me feel.

Thank you. 

It starts tomorrow…….. the line will be crossed……. I am meeting N for a weekend away.  I have made my excuses, set things up so that we can be together for an entire weekend. A weekend of deviant and dark exploration.

I.CANNOT.WAIT!!!

To say that I am excited is an understatement. To say I am nervous is another understatement………… I cannot begin to express the tumult of emotions racing through my body and mind……..

I am crossing over……. letting myself go and indulging in what I want, not what is ‘right’. N and I are psyche split aparts, he gets it ~ what I want and need. I want to be his, owned, controlled, ruled ……..  I cannot believe we finally found this in each other…… only took 30 years ~

more stories to follow……

Ne vous cachez pas de moi ces pensées qui agitent mes démons intérieurs
car sans connaissance, il n’est que le sentiment de trahison

réelle ou imaginaire

Où est l’espace pour croître, la chance d’apprendre?
Si je ne suis pas au courant de ce que vous désirez
La chance que je vais échouer est grand,
mais plus encore, si je ne peux même pas attraper un aperçu
de ce qui se trouve dans ce pays inconnu

Don’t hide from me these thoughts that agitate my inner demons
for without knowledge, there is only the feeling of treason

real or imaginary

Where is the space to grow, the chance to learn?
If I am not aware of what you desire
The chance that I will fail is great,
but even more, if I cannot even catch a glimpse
of what is to be found in this unknown country

( Special thank you to @littlepetkitty for the translation and to whom ever sent this in, thank you for my first ever non-english anonymous submission)

I haven’t been to see a doctor for 22 years.

I should go and see a doctor.

Not that there’s anything wrong with me; I should just check.

And find out what my blood type is.

Someone close to me was just diagnosed with breast cancer.

Makes you think.

And maybe a psychiatrist.

He wants me to talk to someone.

Not that I talk to him much any more.

Mostly because he wants me to talk to someone.

Hm.

Somewhat paradoxically I can’t go and see a doctor or a psychiatrist because I am in too weak a state to hear what they’d tell me. Which, I suppose, means I know what they’d tell me.

Day by day then.

Day by day.

It’s strange.

I don’t know how to talk to you anymore. Fuck, I know. We’ve been two peas in a pod for so long and now I just can’t be.

You don’t realize it, do you?

We’ve grown apart. I’ve changed and you don’t even see it.

Where were you when I needed you the most? All up in your little universe, like you’ve always been, I guess. You say you never quit loving me and you still have the gumption to call me your Wife.

I am not your Wife.

I am not the Siskel to your Ebert.

I am my own person, and I am going out and I am doing things on my own now. And I bloody well like it. I like fighting for my dream and I like not giving up. I like writing until my skin feels raw from exposing myself on paper. I have literally no money, but that hasn’t stopped me from actually doing what I wanted in life.

Quite frankly, I divorced you long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother. And I was right to do so. Where were you when I was ill? Or when I needed the support? I am but a phone call or email away and yet you never came. I never got what I wanted from you. I never got any affection. You talk about me being a bitch to you, well, bloody hell, you were equally bad.

Don’t pretend like you’re proud of me. It doesn’t become you.

Consider this my official divorce.

Goodbye.

So I’m finding myself back here again writing. I’ve written about my Ex a lot recently. I mentioned Him in a previous post about if I should forgive or not when he went away the first time. But He did it again.. this time He became emotionally abusive towards me and the fact I was ill. The stress alone of being ill was killing me, the last thing I needed was Him. So we split. 2 days before our second full year of meeting & my birthday and 2 months before our second year anniversary.

It was a while before I thought I could move on as a woman. The thing I am grateful for is that He never got my virginity. Yes that’s right.. but I’m anything but innocent! Anyway I began to move away and just carry on with losing weight and concentrating on getting answers on my health issues. Then the whole 50 shades fiasco, yes I said it fiasco! hit up and one of the men I know on my fitness profile kept randomly teasing me about reading the book and how I was unaffected by it. He had been in a previous relationship with a mutual friend so I just took it as flirting.

Well .. me being me… I kinda went OTT one afternoon and the flirting got a little heated.. I took the step to be brave and bold and really show him how my switchy nature works.. little did he know I was a Switch. I kept this secret it’s not something I fully am. It’s just my nature, I’m naturally dominant and naturally submissive in every day life. Anyway again going off the subject to ramble! We flirted heavier this time.. I spoke in great detail on how I’d whip him and spank him.. it was mighty fine to have some fun again

But that’s all I thought it was.. some hot sexy fun over the internet.. nothing more nothing less.. no virginity lost.. no hearts broken just two people enjoying each other.. yet something changed.. we grew closer swapped emails and began to chat for hours and hours in Yahoo. We spoke about our lives, our future, our past, our present, you name it we talked about it. He is older than me with two boys one teenager and one 6 year old. His 17 years my senior but his age really doesn’t throw me off. I grew up around a lot of older friends and still have a lot of older friends. I have an amazing relationship with two dear dear friends.. they know who they are.. one who is still quite new to my frienship circle but she loves me anyway!

The more we talk the more I realise I’ve fallen for him.. and he for me. He was the first to tell me how he felt.. he calls me his goddess, his queen, his lover and his friend. He doesn’t just want sex, he wants companionship, the thing is he lives miles away but we make it work.

We sat discussing 50 shades again the other night.. he had posted a very sexy picture of a woman in fishnet stockings with her hands tied behind her back and blindfolded. Little did he know that I knew all about how to tie my hands behind my back with my belt.. but I plucked up the courage and told him…. and I told him of my switchy nature. He wasn’t shocked if anything he embraced it. He didn’t see a girl who hadn’t had any real sexual experience or even had sex to know what she does and doesn’t like. So to him my J, the man who changed my life even if he is an 8 hour timezone away…..

….Smitten Kitty whose found a reason to be happy again