Tearing me apart

Couple walking together but apart

Tearing me apart

I love my wife. I love her more than anyone else in the world, even… but the type of love is changing.

I hate that… I feel like the worst person on the planet because of it, but it’s true… It’s been shifting over the past year from being my soul mate and primary romantic interest to best friend and sister.

This is so fucked up. Why can’t I just make these thoughts stop?

I couldn’t tell her… I won’t tell her. I’m the only person who has ever truly loved her… She’s spent her entire life rejected and broken, and I took ahold of her life, structured it, cared for it… saved it, even… I can see a world where she’d be dead without me in it…

What would it do to her if I told her that… I’m falling out of a certain type of love for her…?

It would kill her.

Please, please… God, help me… I love her more than anyone else in the world, but I want the chance to experiment and make mistakes… all I’ve ever known is her, and I’m too afraid to hurt her…

4 thoughts on “Tearing me apart

  • Please get some help to support you as you go through this. Change and growth is a normal part of life and a good therapist can help you navigate what can be choppy waters.

    I get the sense that you can’t share this with your wife and suspect that even thinking about talking to someone else might feel like a betrayal of her but actually unless you take your own state of mind seriously there will be consequences for your relationship anyway.

    Be brave. Make the call. I wish you and your wife well x

  • You love her. That is beautiful. Love changes, develops and fluctuates. If romance isn’t your primary feeling right now, that doesn’t have to be bad unless it is causing a schism between you. There may be stresses that are fueling the change. Look more holistically, be kind to both of you and don’t panic. See what time brings.

  • Oh dear man, I understand this feeling so very well. I just wanted to know I read what you wrote, and my heart resonates so strongly with what you’ve been experiencing. I wish you all the best. You have a wonderful, caring heart, and even though I don’t know you, I appreciate you.

  • This sounds lie my husband, is it? Well anyway I think I would want him to tell me that way maybe we can save ourselves and our marriage. Or let me know if you dont want to be with me anymore so i can try to move on I know it will hurt really bad at first and life is short and i know you loved me and i loved you. But is it time to move on, maybe just maybe she might feel the same way. Your awesome and i feel youll do the right thing

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