A Stranger Even to Myself at Times

Self portrait in mirrors

Looking through photographs  I see someone different than who looks at me in the mirror.

The woman in the photograph is posed and confident. The woman in the mirror has slightly rounded shoulders and looks as if she is ashamed.

The woman in the photograph looks as if she doesn’t have a care in the world, in fact she’s on top of the world and owns it. The one in mirror, you can see the worry in her face, the lines that form as she convinces herself the smile is the same as before.

Then the woman looks at the photographs again, then in the mirror and wonders could it be that the Native Americans were right along? Did the process of the photograph steal her soul and by disrespecting the spirit world is the woman in mirror all that’s left?

3 thoughts on “A Stranger Even to Myself at Times

  • That woman in the pictures? She’s still there. She’s hiding right now, and based on my own experiences, it’s likely depression that’s holding her hostage. If the captor is depression, it’s likely lying to you, saying that awesome, world-owning woman is gone forever, no point in trying to get her back.

    The first step on the road to getting your old self back is to acknowledge that you can. From there, it’s your call how to rescue her. Maybe it’s therapy, maybe it’s meeting up with old friends, maybe it’s doing some of the things your kick ass self enjoyed. Maybe it’s getting medical treatment, maybe it’s journaling, or art or cooking or exercise. Maybe it’s a series of long conversations with people who love you. Maybe its writing a list of things that make your soul smile and carrying it like a talisman. Most likely, it will be a mix of those, a few ideas you think of on your own, and the healing power of time.

    I wish you all the best, and I hope you’re soon reunited with the self you think you’ve lost. It may be a challenging journey, but I promise you it will be worth the fight.

  • As Lunabelle has said, the woman in the pictures is still there. It’s just a case of digging around a bit to find her again.
    I can’t really add anything to what has already been suggested I’m afraid.
    Good luck though, keep fighting to find that woman, she’s there.

  • I once looked in the mirror and saw a sad, overweight, miserable woman who I no longer recognised. I had spent so long caring for others that I had forgotten how to care for myself. People were taking me for granted, because I was letting them.
    I realised that I needed to make some positive changes. It was exciting, and difficult to do. At times other people were supportive, and at times they found it hard. But it was worth it.
    I rediscovered the woman inside me, and in fact I improved her. And so can you xxx

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