Stupid Girl

It wasn’t supposed to happen but it’s too late now.

He’d never leave her and I’d never ask him to.

But now I love him and I don’t ever want to have to let him go.

I live for the rare moments when we wax lyrical about what it might be like if we were a real couple.

Can somebody please tell me that I will survive this?

I’m such a stupid, stupid girl.

4 thoughts on “Stupid Girl

  • You don’t deserve half a person. Or someone who is using you to practice deception on another woman. If he does become yours, you’ll always wonder if he’ll do it to you.
    Prize yourself higher than the other woman. Being hidden and ashamed is not worth it for any man. So walk away on your terms. Heal – it happens in time. And find someone who will devote their time and affection to just you.

    Signed,

    One who knows this first hand.

  • Of course you will survive this! It just doesn’t feel like that right now.

    In the meantime – and keeping any discussions of morality out of it, because that’s unhelpful – you might want to examine why you feel you need or even want all of that person.

    Very often, I think we get caught up in cultural models of what love is, and what we ‘should’ want. We tend to believe that ‘true’ love is together, all the time, coupled like all the images of ‘couples’ we are fed everyday of our lives in every form of media. But that is just a cultural construction and you don’t have to ascribe to it.

  • Gosh – this sounds so familiar I’m almost surprised Molly hasn’t asked me if I wrote it!

    Yes, you’ll survive. We all do. And love might sometimes be inadvisable, but you’re not stupid for falling. As far as I can tell it’s about enjoying the daydreams and the moments, and finding a way to return to earth without crashing. Also, don’t let loving him close you to any needs you may need. If you need stability and a partner who can be there, don’t stop looking.

  • I thought long and hard about replying to this, in truth I have no idea if this original message is about me or not, but there are one or two many coincidences and hints in the message that me think it is. Anyway, regardless Ive defiantly been the stupid boy in this scenario and here are my thoughts (with a few personal hints incase the OP reads this and it is who I think it is) If its not me I hope my reply is of some solace.

    ‘You know you are always right about these things, I would’t leave her, I have been with her too long to break her heart, but what you gave me, what you showed me will stay with me forever. I fell in love with you too and it will take me a long time to get over you, thank you for letting me go with such dignity and protection, we both know it was both the only and best way for the dream to end.

    I know we showed each other what happiness could be, but you deserve that for much longer than I could give you, open your heart to those you are closest to and keep searching – one day you will find someone who can could keep loving you for longer than I could.

    You were far from stupid, no one can be called stupid for feeling, you find yourself riding that wave until it throws you off, then you are out of control – far from being stupid, just helpless. The hurt is the price we pay for what we felt before, I am glad of it, it was a price worth paying.

    When ever you feel bad about what happened take a cold shower, listen to our favourite song and remember that for a few months we lived in the coolest real life movie together, and remember you’ll be able to play it back in your head when you’re old and infirm with the biggest stupidest smile on your face, thats well worth surviving for.

    DB

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