I know this isn’t usually the kind of post we see here, but I’m desperate. I really need some input.
I am seriously considering leaving my husband. We love each other, we have children together but I am not happy. He is emotionally neglectful at times and can be very selfish, although he doesn’t seem to realise that he is. He’s like a child.
We have little in common any more. Our goals are different. I want to live a life full of possibility and adventure; he wants to stay in the same place doing the same thing forever. He is fully monogamous, I am more poly but live monogamously for him (although I have strayed once or twice). I feel as though I am forever compromising to make him happy and get little in return.
I’ve pleaded, begged, cajoled, done all I can to try to help him get his fires burning but nothing ever changes. I’m bored, tired, frustrated and full of resentment.
Despite all of this, I love him and he is my friend. He loves me more than I love him, I think, at this stage. He is a wonderful father and genuinely cares about us. We’ve been together since we were teenagers. We’ve been through so much together.
I just don’t know what to do. I think I know what is coming but my heart is breaking. Why did it come to this?
I crave connection. Intellectual stimulation. Am I being selfish?